Welcome to my journey. This is going to be a work in progress from now until the legal change happens and the steps to update all the legal documents, financial institutions, and other things. I plan to share as much as I can about each step.
Please take a moment to read the blog that I wrote as it shares the process before this page began. Please note the updates will only be on this page and not on the Growbucks FI Blog page, so bookmark to come back for updates.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me.
Ethan FKA Jerry
2024-07-08 Update
Just because you change/update your name with institutions does not mean it takes. Late last week, I got my monthly statement from a financial institution and although the statement had my name on it correctly, the correspondance did not. I plan to call them today and see if I can get that resolved. We have also had numerous issues with one financial institution regarding name change and disputes. We have done numerous name change attempts with them and they still cannot get it done, we have had two disputes that we have lost that were fraud and they claim to contact me when they have fraudulent charges on the account but I never receive text, calls, emails, nothing. I do not feel comfortable with this big name institution anymore, so we will be closing those accounts shortly.
2024-06-23 Update
One thing I have worried about, is being in multiple decades in life, how would I react to a new name. I am not even 3 months in and I already enjoy it and do well with responding to it. At my full-time job my boss has a phrase she says a lot and the first word is my old name and I nearly everytime I feel like she is going to call me by my old name. For the record, I did my first interview under my former name, my second interview and going forward was going by “Ethan” and when I started I was legally Ethan.
The name change I mentioned on the last update for the financial institution, I got it done. I have four accounts with them and I got six letters about my name change. I don’t know how to figure that, but it happens I guess. I recently ordered some shirts one says “I am Ethan doing Ethan things”. The other one I am wearing today as I go see my dad and brother again and it says “If at first you don’t succeed try doing what Ethan told you to do the first time”, I feel it is an appropriate shirt for my family.
2024-06-08 Update
I have not devoted as much time to all the name change stuff lately, that is why I have not been updating this as much. No, all the name changes are not done. There are minor things I am catching up on now. Today I worked on my Apple account and changing it. I also filled out a form to change my name for a finanical institution I left, but still have accounts with. I am keeping those accounts open as I may do some investing with them. I am also going to follow up with my life insurance company as I have not heard back from on my name change.
2024-05-28 Update
I recently posted a general blog about the right to be forgotten due to the continued bad experience I had with one financial institution. This weekend I observed Memorial Day with my family, my dad and brother as well. During the time with my dad and brother, who had not known about “Ethan”, my dad was trying to switch phone plans to his own and I had to give my name to the company to get him off my plan. That is how they heard my name for the first time. I was also reminded of the person I used to be and the reasons why I did this for myself. Seeing these things, I gathered up my family and said bye. My spouse and I talked about this evening and are amazed and so pleased at the changes I have made in my life and how I have improved myself.
2024-05-12 Update: Second Financial Institution Bad Experience Resolution
So I am getting somewhere near a resolution. They at least referred to me as Ethan when they emailed me this last time, unlike the previous times. But here is what I sent to them with the specific institution redacted.
I have spoken to numerous customer service representatives and supervisors, all of whom have confirmed that [Institution Redacted] has the name change form that only [Institution Redacted] requires. They have also confirmed other documents that have been received. Now it is confirmed the court order has been received. Yet [Institution Redacted] desires for me to redo the whole process. My name is Ethan and until [Institution Redacted] can follow the form that [Institution Redacted] required, the supporting documentation including a court order, and refer to me by my legal name, we cannot do business. If [Institution Redacted] cannot complete my name change promptly, then this symbolizes that [Institution Redacted] loses paperwork, does not care about their customers and is unwilling to accept and follow legal documents. [Institution Redacted] is about to lose a customer over not changing their name while possessing the required legal documents for the name change; it is so simple to fix. Please reach out to me to let me know a resolution as soon as possible as I will be working on my own resolution should you not comply. Please feel free to pass this up to whomever needs to know.
My email to financial instutution
There email explained they are “glad to assist me”, included an apology for inconvenience caused in this matter and they will be expedicting a new card with the corrected name. I am hopeful that all of these pieces fall into place because when I look at my account, it still shows my old name.
One thing I am noticing is it bothers me when people do not use my legal name unless this is a person who I deeply know. Dealing with this financial institution has really bugged me, but yet this morning my father-in-law used my old name and I just smiled and didn’t say anything. I still have not seen my dad or brother since the name change, so that fun will happen in the next few weeks.
2024-05-10 Update – Second Financial Institution Bad Experience
One of the financial institutions I utilize has their own special form for name changes. This is the only financial institution I have seen that has this thus far. I filled it out and followed the directions of mailing in this form with the supporting documents requested. (I acknowledge I may have made a mistake and missed something but I really do not think so). When I called them this week, they claim they sent me a snail mail letter last month that I still have not received. Supposedly said letter informs me they did not receive the court order. A supervisor informs me they received everything else and I can send it in via secure message so I did. 24 hours later I get a email that I have a secure message. Informing me they cannot complete this without the name change form that they are mailing and I will receive within 14 business days. I call back to customer service and they offer to mail me the name change form which I will receive within 14 business days. I speak to a supervisor who can see everything except the court order and says if I sent it in yesterday they may not have reviewed it yet. I read him the message I received and he does some research, but says all he can do is note the account. Following this phone conversation I sent a very polite but very pointed secure message back explaining their options. I am waiting to hear back.
2024-05-05 Update – Still Shaking My Head
Happy Cinco de Mayo! Click here for an update that fits here, but I also wanted to share with the general forum. I am still shaking my head how the name on an account that I am an authorized user of trumps the name on the account that I am primary on.
2024-05-04 Update
So it seems the most challenging things have to do with what is linked up to employers. My spouse’s life insurance, retirement, all that has to be changed with his employer then changed with the third party vendor. It has been a struggle and that is still ongoing. The other issue is things where I had one account and my spouse has an account and we both can access, I lost access because the names do not match.
2024-04-27 Update, Word of Caution
I am getting used to refering to myself as Ethan, it is coming more naturally to me. I feel pretty good when it’s only be legal for nearly 4 weeks at this point. The name changes continue, it amazes me how many place still want you to mail in the documents to them (snail mail, USPS, no email). The other option is fax, really if you can get it in a fax you can email it. We have hit some snags with people wanting more information than we feel they need when I am not an account holder but a beneficiary or authorized user, but we can’t really fight too much. It is either do it there way or close the account.
I have had a couple of issues where businesses will update my first name, but not my middle name which is weird because the documents have all names on them. The other issue I had is I have updated my name with the driver’s license and voting registrar and recieved both those cards, but went to vote today and they did not have my new name. I was allowed to vote under my old name, which was weird, but at least I voted.
2024-04-25 Update
I have officially received my driver’s license so in the eyes of all governments, I am now Ethan. I also received a letter from a life insurance company that they changed my name. My spouse is still working on some finanical name changes with credit cards and retirement funds and our health insurance stuff. My kids’ schools just wanted mainly the driver’s license and I gave them the temporary. I did offer and gave the court documents and they were overjoyed for that part.
2024-04-20 Update
“Who are they talking about?” As I said, previously, I started a new job this week and sometimes I hear my teammates say “Ethan can do that, let me give this to Ethan” and other general office sayings. It takes my brain a minute to catch up and realize I am Ethan. I do pretty well when someone says, “Hey Ethan” but not in conversations yet.
I am still doing name change stuff. I had one credit card want me to complete a form and it was simple and easy. Some banks need the court order, a driver’s license and a letter stating what it is. Pretty standard stuff. However there is one that told me to upload the court order to their online portal, so I did. Then I received a letter:
[Institution] received a copy of your Order Changing Name of an Adult indicating your name may have changed.
If you wish to update your [institutiion] record, complete and sign this letter.
Please update my [institution] record to reflect my new name.
Print former name:
Print new name:
Sign here:
I includeded everything except their closing which states to notify your employer. So you recieve a court order showing my name has changed and you say may? If I did not wish for you to update my name, why bother sending you the court order. The court order that you acknowledge receiving show my old name and new name. In summation, be prepared for some ridiculous redundencies when changing your name.
2024-04-17
I am still waiting to recieve documents. I did receive a form to submit to one credit card company to update my name. I did have issue getting my debit card issued correctly and being told it wasn’t possible but I got that resolved.
Sorry my posting is a bit slower this week, but I started a new job on Monday and am super happy, but very busy.
2024-04-11 – More Updates
This morning I messaged my updated information to my internet provider by completing an online form. Within 30 minutes they called me just to verify the email address and it was done. I was easily able to call a store I do business with and got them to update my information with no information. For their store card the credit team had to have the court order. Others I started messaging but haven’t hear more back yet. A lot of hurry up and wait.
2024-04-10 – The Updates Begin!
As of today I am licenced as Ethan, so I can begin doing the other updates. I also remembered I need to change my voter registration and did that today too.
Credit Union – My first was our credit union. I went in and asked what they needed and the lady assisting me said it had to be the updated hard driver’s license which I did not have. Her coworkers corrected and said it could be the updated social security card. She had to do a lot of documents and process a lot as I am on multiple accounts plus have a credit card with them. She did it and when I asked about the credit card she said I had to call the number on the card. I did when I got home and they couldn’t do it and had to transfer me to member services who said it should have been done at the branch.
Other Financial Institutions – Others I have uploaded documents to and notified them. Some I have notified and waiting for them to respond for what the process is.
Credit Cards – One credit card online said they wanted me to mail them original court documents and original ID and that is not happening on the ID, but then I was able to upload. Another credit card said I had to mail in the a letter explaining it with my account number, signature and attach the court order and a copy of some updated identification or paystub. So that is in the mail.
Reflection – Here we are in 2024, snail mail is getting closer to be non-existent and many banks are online only, so why do you need hard copies of these documents?
2024-04-09 Update – The lull is killing me!
This is the slow time of a name change. The name change is legally done, but you can’t do anything until you have your updated documents such as ID and SS cards. Or can you? So our alarm permit company changed my name without any proof just on my word. I’ve been doing a food delivery service and they changed it just on my profile of my personal account. My alarm system did it the same. I have requested documents like from our city’s water department to provide them the name change. It is weird how some of this goes. Some just do it, some have wanted documents. I have discovered a lot of apps especially fast food apps do not want you to change your name. Not sure if this is to get you to setup a new account and lose your points or what. Soon I will have a temporary ID and be able to do more.
Places to remember: all financial institutions you do business with, all employers, any insurance carriers and spouses benefits programs, life insurance policies, kids’ schools. I am sure I forgot something.
2024-04-04 Update
Back on 3/27 I shared about “preferred name” with some financial institutions. I attempted it on a card I held and it worked. I received the new card with my now legal name. They still view it as a preferred name as I am waiting to get all my legal identification documents to legally change it. I tried to do this on another account, but because my spouse is the account owner they would not allow me to.
I am reminding myself of the characteristics I have came up with for Ethan. I am trying to make them look differently than I have them noted so I can easily be reminded of what they are. Putting them in the bathroom, beside my bed, maybe in the car. Whatever helps me be the person I want Ethan to be. I have seen success and failure with it the past two days, but it is a learning curve and is very amazing.
2024-04-03 Update
Been busy couple of days. On Monday, I was in court and completed the process and obtained the legal copies of my name change, so I am officially Ethan. Following court, I spent the majority of the afternoon at the social security office completing that process. I had completed the form before going in and they liked that when I was finally called to the window. Was there almost 3 hours.
My kids also had some appointments and I had an appointment yesterday. I have also requested more name change forms and things like that. One was my HR certification which was updated quickly.
2024-03-31 Farewell “Jerry”
Nothing new to report, but this will be my last update with my legal name being Jerry. Court is about 13 hours away. The update process will begin soon.
2024-03-30 Update
Today my emotions are more excitement. I have been busy, but had some earlier where I was super excited for Monday. I am keeping in mind that I will have a long road ahead of me. I called some city department the other day, one is sending me a form to change my name and the other did it right then. One of our financial institutions who we have credit and a bank account with told me I just had to upload the legal document and it would get changed. The joy about the financial one is they corrected themselves at the end of the call and called me Ethan. I have also been practicing signing my name and I noticed I am misspelling it; instead of Ethan I am doing “Eathan”. I knew I was always ready to eat, lol.
My apologies, I just realized I was dating things for 2023.
2024-03-29 Getting Close, Being Real
The closeness to the day is causing some emotions. I am more tense and anxious. I know part of it is changing the name and the process of that, but it also other transitions all at once. Change is good but perhaps I took on too many at once. In addition to the name change and doing that process, I have accepted a new position that I will be starting soon. Yes I am nervous and anxious and dealing with those feelings and emotions. But I know I am better as Ethan and I am going to keep growing and working on the new me. Something I struggled with my old self.
I hate posting this cause I feel like it can taken as I don’t want to or shouldn’t proceed, but I want to be real and open and I do not see this at a reason to not proceed.
2024-03-27 Steps
So I just learned that a few financial institutions (banks, credit card companies) will allow users to use a “preferred name” even on credit cards. I tried it with one of mine that said they did. At first the rep did not know they could, but then took care of it. They said on my future cards it will have Ethan, but they would countinue using my legal name for verifying who I am and official things. I understand that. I just reviewed my online account and it has been updated.
2024-03-26 Progress
This weekend I spent some time updating my name in some places. A word of warning, if it is an active employer be careful as it can impact being paid if you have not updated your name with the bank. Banks won’t do it until you have the updated identification card and social security. I also had a doctor’s appointment with my primary care doctor this morning. We reviewed the name change and the psychology behind it and the effect it is having which is so far all for the better.
2024-03-24
I am still studying myself and looking at ways I want to be different. I have changed some more accounts to be reflective of the upcoming name and my new email address. I still catch myself referring to me by my old name, but I am getting better at calling myself “Ethan”.
2024-03-21 Update
Today I shared my news with my dad. It went as expected which is to say it did not go well. After explaining it and telling him what I was doing he looked at me in utter discontentment and sternly said “OK” and shut down. This is not unusual behavior. Previously I have to give the information and then follow up later. He knows it is happening, but does not know when or what the change is. I didn’t even get to tell him he is the one exception and I would allow him to still use my old name.
Does my interaction today deter me from the change? Not at all. I have realized that since people have started using Ethan to refer to me, I act and react to things differently most of the time. Old habits are hard to overcome, but I am seeing positive changes. I am more loving, caring, kind, supportive and give more grace while still being firm about the outcomes. This is what is right for me.
2024-03-19 Update
I spent some time this weekend updating email addresses with places I do business or interact with. I have not done near all of them. I changed my future Amazon orders to ship to Ethan. I have also been using Ethan when I go to places to order things.
I have made plans to visit my dad and share the news with him. He does not know I am coming to visit, but I know when I am going. I had a second job interview yesterday and I had updated my virtual accounts to reflect the new name and they asked about it. They very respectfully began calling me Ethan.
I can’t tell you what the best thing I have ever done for myself is right now, but I know realizing my true self and changing my name has got to be towards the top of that list.
2024-03-15 Funny Share
Yesterday I was backing out of a parking spot and forgot to take off the E-Brake. I said to myself outloud, “Don’t forget the brake Jerry” or something like that. My son goes, “You mean Ethan”. Yes I do. As I said before change is hard, but I am already seeing positive changes from this.
2024-03-14
There is no real progress so far today. I am reflecting on how some documents that have meant so much to me will no longer have my legal name. My marriage license, my kid’s birth certificates and things like that. It makes me go back and think about how my name has been my identity and I am changing that.
I also see changes in my personality, relationships and things like that. I am showing more how I really feel about those in my life and I am happier. Changing my name has a whole mindset that goes with it and I like who I like who I am becoming and the difference it is making for myself and my family.
2024-03-13 Update
I was updating this to reflect that I turned in my fingerprint card and met with the coordinator of the court. When he emailed me back to give me a date. I know when I will begin legally being Ethan. I will share this later, I want to let some others know before I release it publicly.
I am gonna have to reign in my humor and hijinks because I will be in court on April Fool’s.
2024-03-12 Process
I began assembling my file that I want to take to court, it contains the story behind why I want to change my name, list of places I need to make the change, a lot of the list of names considered and more.
I also received confirmation that the court accepted my petition. Now I just have to provide the fingerprint card and anything else they ask for and wait.
2024-03-11 Steps
Today, I got my fingerprints done for the name change and submitted the documents to the court.
2024-03-10 Steps
Something I just learned, you have to be fingerprinted to change your name in my state, so I am booking my fingerprinting appointment. I had no idea that was a requirement, it wasn’t a requirement for the name change when we got married.
One thing you may be wondering is have I thought about my degrees, certifications and all that. I have, I will be updating the things I can once I finalize the name change. For the education, I will have to submit that with the name change order going forward.
2024-03-09 Update
This morning, my family (my husband and daughter – daughter is adopted and does not feel comfortable calling us “dad”) began calling me Ethan. I have also setup my personal and professional email addresses for the future. I have also begun the court documents. Please note, at this point I am not telling my dad or brother as I want to take care of a few things before I arrive at that point and deal with what comes from telling them. I also revised the blog that will be posting and begun this page. It is scary, but the joy and happiness is amazing!